Bonding is an emotional link between two people, often with such unique characteristics that people cannot put in to words the strong sense of attachment they feel with that person. It is often a relationship that endures through adversity, is unconditional and irreplaceable. The bond between a parent and baby is crucial to how that baby will grow up or model future relationships and whether they will develop trusting and secure attachments or not. Bonding with a baby often starts before the baby is born. Mothers often have dreams about their baby, think of names and wonder about their baby’s future. The physical aspect begins when the mother can see her tummy growing and can feel the baby move. The baby is also forming an attachment with his mother, before he is born he is establishing rhythms based upon his mother’s heartbeat, hormones, movements and sleep patterns. Once a baby is born and introduced to his parents the bonding process is established through touch, smell, sound and taste. Touch enhances the bond between parents and babies as it is the baby’s first language, beginning with skin to skin contact. This close physical contact communicates safety, warmth and love. It also causes a release of hormones that promotes caring, nurturing and empathy. Each mother has her own unique smell that her baby can distinguish. Her baby can tell her apart from any other. This element of bonding is very primitive, coming from the olfactory system in the brain. The smell of the baby’s own mother is comforting and further cements their connection. Before a baby is born he has already heard the sound of his mother’s voice and heartbeat and often the voice of his father. It is natural for parents to use higher pitched cooing voices or “baby talk” when talking to their baby, as babies respond positively and may coo and smile back. By imitating their baby parents are sending an important message of loving attention. Even though a baby may not understand their parent’s vocabulary, they absorb their emotional tone. By smiling, singing, reading and giggling to their baby, he will feel loved, cared for and valued. And when a baby smiles back a parent feels they are doing something right, that they too are appreciated and needed. There is nothing like a gummy smile after all! Breastfeeding is thought of as one of the most important aspects of bonding. It is the most natural and life giving act that a mother can do for her baby. The very act of breastfeeding encompasses touch, smell, sound and taste. It creates a feeling of an intense bond and a special moment that is very unique to mother and her baby. Breastfeeding isn’t only about providing nutrition; it is a time for nursing, comfort and nurturing. Babies seek nursing in times of stress, being frightened and sickness, even if they are not hungry. It deepens the bonding relationship between mother and child. Bottle feeding can also achieve this when a parent holds their baby close so the baby is comforted by their smell, hearing their heartbeat and the sound of their voice. Bonding can be delayed or disturbed for various reasons. A parent may have expectations of what their baby may be in both physical and emotional traits. After birth or adoption the reality may make the parent adjust their mental picture. Parents may be faced with issues such as physical or mental disabilities or feelings of being unprepared for parenthood. There may be concerns surrounding domestic violence or abuse, or there may be emotional reminders of the death of a previous baby. Hormones can also affect bonding. Hormones influence bonding positively in some mothers and in others they can cause an out-pouring of emotions which coupled with exhaustion or a difficult delivery can leave a mother feeling withdrawn or disconnected from her baby. If a baby requires medical attention or intensive care the ordeal can be overwhelming and a parent may feel helpless or a failure. They may be frightened about their baby’s future. This can hinder the bonding process as their fear or misguided guilt holds them back. Bonding is a personal experience that takes time. There is no magic formula and it cannot be forced. Although parents may feel an instant love for their baby bonding is a process, not something that takes place in an instant and not something that must happen within a certain time frame after birth.